Hal Jordan! Let's do it! ([info]memlu) wrote,
2005-07-06 13:33:00
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[fic] [bleach] isshin explains it all

I'd apologize, but then I'd have to admit wrong-doing. How out of practice am I! It is, as they say, to woe. Or something. Shut up; you're oppressing me!


Isshin Explains It All


"Ichigo," began Isshin five after six on Monday morning, "it is time. Time! for us to talk."

"Not while I'm eating," said Ichigo, picking up his cereal bowl and moving two seats over.

"Now," said Isshin, chuckling nostalgically, "it's normal for a young man your age to experience urges to feel the soft plumpness of a woman's breasts--"

Ichigo choked on his spoon.

Isshin pressed on, hand on his chin and the other at his waist (Daddy Knows Best Pose No. 45, Revised): "I, too, have been down this road many a time before! Why, when I was but a youthful stud in the university, I could barely control these two rascally hands! By the time your mother and I--"

"WHAT THE FUCK OLD MAN," Ichigo said, after punting the cereal bowl into his face.

"Which is why I've decided you shall not go down the same path as I!" said Isshin, wiping a tear from his eye and milk from his brow. "How many sleepless nights I've spent in regret!" He turned aside, slipping two socks dressed in wigs and photo clippings over his hands. "Now, I've prepared a puppet show starring your mother and me to explain the Good Touches and Bad Touches of a young man's desires. No need to thank me, son, it's all for your virtue! Wait, what's this? Oh no! Looks like Puppet Daddy is going for Puppet Mommy's special--"



[end]




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  • 43 comments

[info]moonsheen

July 6 2005, 10:46:17 UTC 6 years ago

Oh...oh my god.

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 11:40:38 UTC 6 years ago

My genius leaves you stunned! It's okay, it happens to the best of us.

[info]_bitch_cakes_

6 years ago

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[info]memlu

6 years ago

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[info]_bitch_cakes_

6 years ago

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[info]j_riddler

July 6 2005, 10:46:27 UTC 6 years ago

Hee hee hee..... @_@

This thought of mine makes absolutely no sense, but I picture Ichigo scribbling nonsense on a mirror with red lipstick after that showing. XD I don't even know what he'd write or why, but I know "I'm scarred" would be in there somewhere.

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 18:38:04 UTC 6 years ago

XDXDXD

[info]autophanous

July 6 2005, 10:49:07 UTC 6 years ago

...The healing process will be slow and arduous.

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 15:51:10 UTC 6 years ago

But if it's all for Ichigo, Daddy will fight through to another day~~!

[info]fantomeq

July 6 2005, 10:53:55 UTC 6 years ago

"WHAT THE FUCK OLD MAN" needs to be an icon. *Nods*

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 18:50:26 UTC 6 years ago

I leave it in your oh-so capable hands! omg have you read bleach then? :D :D :D

[info]fantomeq

6 years ago

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[info]zauberer_sirin

July 6 2005, 10:57:32 UTC 6 years ago

OMG, so funny. And in character. And Ichigo´s reaction! LOL

*finds it hot nonetheless cause everything involving Isshin seems hot to her*

[info]memlu

July 7 2005, 16:15:35 UTC 6 years ago

*g* I'm very pleased you liked it! (Ahaha, I'm a little surprised so many have liked it.) Especially considering your love for Isshin, so it's good to know I didn't mess up. XD

*completely agrees omg*

[info]nightengale

July 6 2005, 11:26:04 UTC 6 years ago

O.o *shivering a little with the horror of it*

"WHAT THE FUCK OLD MAN" would make a good icon, yes. But I have images of a crossbreed between the Potter Puppet Pals, and the Puppet Mommy and Puppet Daddy, and Nakie time, and THEN "WHAT THE FUCK OLD MAN," and....

*backs away slowly* You're really scary sometimes, Mem. You're really ontarget. But you're really scary too. ^____^;;

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 18:51:05 UTC 6 years ago

COME ON. You know he would! Isshin is a dedicated father, who only thinks of the good of his children---!

[info]kasugai_gummie

4 years ago

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[info]nightengale

4 years ago

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[info]kasugai_gummie

4 years ago

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[info]saturnoolaa

July 6 2005, 11:55:58 UTC 6 years ago

GWAHAHAHAHA.

That's about all from this corner.

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 18:54:01 UTC 6 years ago

SCORE. *marks tally*

[info]lasakura

July 6 2005, 13:10:11 UTC 6 years ago

I feel that you need to have your own series of Parents Explaining to Various Fandom Characters How Babies are Made.

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 18:55:33 UTC 6 years ago

AHAHA. This is the greatest compliment I have ever received. X}

Deleted comment

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 18:56:16 UTC 6 years ago

Okay, wait, this is the greatest compliment I've ever received. <3 <3 I'm very sorry for your loss! Yet strangely pleased. Um. I've always loved you from a distance~!

[info]like_cairo

July 6 2005, 15:41:54 UTC 6 years ago

I have not read Bleach, I have not seen Bleach, but I now lust after it so very hard. You have just made my week with a fic from a fandom I am not a part of. You stun me. Love!

[info]memlu

July 6 2005, 18:57:20 UTC 6 years ago

OMG YOU CRAZY. D: D:

stoptazmo.com and bleach7.com have the scans for the manga which, yes, READ NOW OKAY KTHX, because! it is just that good!

(Thank youuuuu. :D)

[info]noshootingstars

July 6 2005, 16:11:20 UTC 6 years ago

I have read very few Isshin fics and that's because no author that I've come across so far has managed to write him correctly. Until you. There's always just something off in their interpretation. But not yours. I love you times infinity!

I begin to wonder whether anyone has written a good "Isshin dresses up as Santa" fic. There should be one!

(Our matching icons tell me we share a brain. The keywords even match, kinda.)

[info]memlu

July 7 2005, 16:18:41 UTC 6 years ago

Hee! I am over the moon with this comment (man! I keep getting such nice compliments for this fic! *slightly confused but nonetheless appreciative!*), ahahaha. XD

If there isn't, there should be. Like now. omg we could do a christmas ficathon! I mean, uh. :D;;

(OHOHO. Is Hirako not awesome? I'm in love with every damn character in this series, apparently.)

[info]frogdance

July 6 2005, 17:20:01 UTC 6 years ago

seeing how I was reading Tsubara Reservoir Chronicles and Sorata was doing a puppet show, I was pretty used to this XD

Although Oh no! Looks like Puppet Daddy is going for Puppet Mommy's special-- was special.

[info]memlu

July 7 2005, 16:11:08 UTC 6 years ago

Puppet shows are a fine, fine way to tell stories. Especially if it involves scarring! :D

*g* Thank you.

[info]keraha

July 7 2005, 09:24:40 UTC 6 years ago

*weeps*

"Ooh!" I said to myself, not five minutes ago, "Memlu has written fic! Huzz-- *click lj-cut* AAAAUUUGHH!"

These eyes, this brain, they're bleeding.

[info]memlu

July 7 2005, 15:59:25 UTC 6 years ago

thank you?

Man! I'm surprised at how shocked some of you are by this fic. You need to stop trusting me. XD

[info]keraha

6 years ago

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[info]jengou

July 8 2005, 04:17:09 UTC 6 years ago

Wahahahaha, I love this!

"Ichigo," began Isshin five after six on Monday morning, "it is time. Time! for us to talk."

Exactly how I think you will broach the subject with your children some day XDDDD

[info]maiea

July 12 2005, 21:58:49 UTC 6 years ago

*dies laughing* Oh how I can easily see this.

[info]derlirum

July 14 2005, 18:47:27 UTC 6 years ago

You are genius. But a sick, twisted genius, mind. XD

[info]sphinx_atropos

July 17 2005, 17:00:38 UTC 6 years ago

Well, that was certainly interesting.

[info]axtar

July 8 2006, 06:32:23 UTC 5 years ago

....WTLMAO~!?!!!!???

'Daddy Knows Best Pose No. 45, Revised' is GENIUS.

Actually, you ARE GENIUS~ XDDDD *thumbs up* I shall not even attempt to venture into the puppets because then they'll have to sweep what's left of me away from my computer.

[info]firedraygon97

July 20 2006, 06:59:10 UTC 5 years ago

Oh my gosh Isshin breaks my brain. XDDD;;; WONDERFUL. I love this, haha!! You have their father-son interaction down-pat and the whole thing with the puppets is pure genius. ♥ Awesome work~~!

[info]doctor_badass

January 15 2007, 20:58:45 UTC 5 years ago

Why spy on the house of Kurosaki? There's plenty of room for you to see everything first-hand!

(Yeah, hi, I loved this and happened to be in my character journal at the time. :Db)

[info]kawaiiairbender

May 18 2007, 01:23:55 UTC 5 years ago

Oh gosh, I love you. This is just too awesome to exist. (This has had to happen)

[info]kasugai_gummie

July 13 2007, 14:10:15 UTC 4 years ago

You're channeling Isshin. For the love of god, never stop. ♥

[info]sometimesafox

December 1 2011, 01:35:36 UTC 6 months ago

This never gets old XD
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